On Singapore

Originally entitled as A Question of Home, I wrote this when I had the choice to go back to Manila at the end of my expatriation. I have decided to stay in Singapore and it has been three years now living in this amazing city. Thank you Singapore. You and your people have been wonderful.

A Question of Home

On those pockets of time in my everydays, where silence and self-thought are most coherent, I dabble on the to-be that would be decided today… or soon at the very least. As my good friend Sandy summed up, it is these pivotal points that determine one’s tomorrow - that single choice that would spell out the next years of my life.

It has been a year since I have resided in Singapore, and in that span of time, this city has turned from a career-oriented move to something more personal. From a definite two year timeline, the prospect of staying here is now open for discussion. The once unentertained idea has now become a looming question overhead.

Is it how my tummy savors for ji fan and chili crab? Is it how my tongue can now enunciate the “lahs” and the “mehs”? Do I delight in the ease of the MRT or secretly smile at the hole in my wallet caused by the unending shopping at Orchard? Or being practical, is it simply that the Singapore Dollar trumps the Philippine Peso?

And to those questions I say, the answer is a yes… and yet it would still be a broken yes. Manila packs a punching reminder everytime I take a trip back. There’s always a tug in my heart when I spend time with family and friends I have known since forever. And though Manila may not be as perfect as Singapore, the familiarity of things and the sense of belonging brings about a comfort one cannot find anywhere else. Manila will always be my home. It is that undeniable fact that makes agreement to the prior arguments empty. Staying in Singapore must mean more to me that just those reasons.

And on those pockets of time in my everyday, where silence and self-thought are most coherent, I dabble on the to-be that would be decided today… and I think about

• How fulfilling I find stressing over twenty thousand metric tons of overflowing cargo, battling port strikes and vessel breakdowns, and improving my services could be
• How I have found that sense of peace in me, which I have not had previously
• How proud I am making my parents with me securing my and our future
• Sandy, Eugene, Stephy, Earnest, WB, JJ, Miling just to name a few…  
• My happiness 

To me these are the weighty reasons… these are the bricks upon where I would lay the foundation of my tomorrow should I stay in Singapore.

The choice is tough… but I guess it is comforting that no matter what path I choose, I am grateful to have two places to call my own - one a home, and another a home I can build.