On Dessert

No meal is ever complete without a sweet ending. The cherry on top, the last hurrah, the "finish him" of food fatalities - to many, dessert stands out to be, if not, the best part of one's meal. By dessert I mean chocolate shavings, cream cheese frosting, molten caramel, all of which packs a knock-out punch of sinfulness. None of these fruit platters and low-calorie yogurts please. Dessert is a dangerous thing: sublime, exquisite and dreamy yet undoubtedly deadly.

My golden rule is that as long as you know your poison well, then you do not have to fear it.   When it comes to dessert though, knowledge on calorie count doesn't come so easy. According to the iDat Application by the Health Promotion Board of Singapore, below are some indicative statistics for your meal's grand finale:

1 slice of:

• Apple Crumble - 354 kcal
• Brownie - 227 kcal
• Banana Cake - 146 kcal
• Black Forest - 259 kcal
• Carrot Cake w/ Cream Cheese Frosting - 145 kcal
• Chocolate Cake w/ Frosting - 537 kcal
• Cheesecake w/o toppings - 335 kcal
• Chocolate Eclair - 206 kcal
• Tiramisu - 250 kcal

I compared these numbers to other sources and concluded that they are quite conservative. I would probably add another 100 or so calories as a buffer. Safe to say, an average cake for dessert ranges from 250 to as much as 700 calories depending on the toppings and ingredients. Banana cake stands out to be the least sinful of the bunch at 140-160 calories, but do it ala P.S. Cafe (my favorite banana cake) with butterscotch syrup and vanilla ice cream then that will come close to 400 calories at the very least.

The stats above are not meant to scare. Honestly, if you have a sweet-tooth I doubt these numbers will hinder you from enjoying your cake. It doesn't hurt though to know how much calories dessert contributes to your daily needs. On a dessert day, try to be more mindful of what foods are taken and be aware of your total calorie consumption. Another quick win is to share the cake slice with someone, in turn, halving the pain of the calorific encounter. After all, dessert doubles its pleasure over coffee and conversation.

Loving dessert doesn't mean you're unhealthy as long as you recognize that it entails the responsibility to keep yourself fit through exercise and a balanced diet. I run 5 kilometers to enjoy my banana butterscotch cake without worry and guilt. What would you do for cake? How much do you really love your dessert?

On Waking Up Thankful

contributed by Georgina Abella 

Thank You. Thank You for so many things and for so many people I tend to overlook every day. Thank You for the moments I am so happy I feel like I could fly and feel like that moment could last forever - and forever would be the most awesome forever anyone could have.

Thank You for the moments I am so sad I feel like have nowhere and no one to turn to for relief, because when I feel like I am at the bottom and all I can do is look up, I see You and I talk to You and talking to You somehow makes it better. I fall asleep praying and I wake up feeling at least a little bit better. Thank You.

Thank You for the littlest things that remind me You’re there - the sun peeking through the clouds on an especially sleepy day, the rain when it’s way too hot, for food on the table even when it isn’t particularly tasty, the bed or the couch even if they aren’t particularly comfortable, the job I have even if I feel like it’s not for me every other day, the people in my life even if not everyone can be close by or particularly understanding or kind. Thank You for challenging me. Thank You for helping me grow.

Thank You for the love I receive every day. I only ask that You continue to help me see and appreciate this love in whatever shape or form it comes in. Thank You for everything good in me. Thank You for all the good in other people. Most of all, thank You for making us loving. 

I love You and thank You.

On Fleeting Moments

When every moment of happiness if fleeting, what can we do to make it last forever? A photograph. A video. A postcard. A souvenir. We always want to preserve these instances, safeguarding them from the ravages of time and from the inconsistencies of memory. At times though, we get too caught up with the act of recording. We become too busy fearing that we'd forget. The present, in turn, becomes a mere substitute for the past we want to keep.

With the wind, your heart learns to fly
Yet swiftly as it brushed your face,
painting a smile
So too will the wind leave you
Solitary and still

You run after happiness
But the wind you can never catch
nor hold in your hands 

All you can do is stretch out your arms
on those fleeting moments
when the gust blows
and embrace the dying seconds
when your heart takes flight.

Live in those dying seconds, then let go. This does not diminish the value of the past. It gives way to a more hopeful future, which will be far greater.

On Losing Mementos

Ver: I lost my wallet last night

Ian: How sad... a lot of memories in there. I know you kept a lot of things in your wallet

Ver: Yeah... Gar's card was there

Ian: Sometimes we lose trinkets of what we hold dear, just so that all the more can we keep it closer to our hearts

Ver: You sound like Dumbledore

On Meeting Someone at a Club

It has been X years of clubbing and you probably never thought you could share a romantic moment there. Sure you've been picked up, or you've picked up someone you like. You tongue-lashed until your tongue lost so much calories from all the physical activity. You body bumped on the dance floor and may have ended up gyrating in a motel somewhere. But hey, it's all part of the clubbing experience. It's hormones and adrenaline. It's where the fun's at. You wear your sweaty alcohol-drenched clothes back on as the sun rises. You're no better off than when you entered the club hours ago.

No fond romantic dreams of meeting "the one" at a club. You want to find this person on a totally random moment. You want to be caught off guard and swept off your feet. Maybe it's at a coffee shop on a gloomy day, this guy sits down with you and shares a cup of coffee.  You don't want to tell your children, "I met your dad in a bar. He bought me five shots of jaager bombs." You want it to be fairy tale worthy.

But maybe, just maybe, you'll find someone at the club when you least expect it.  Maybe he won't use some corny pick up line or stare at you with undressing eyes. Instead of buying you a drink, he'll try to make a move by slipping his pinky into yours. He won't assume you'd hold his hand just yet. You'll stay like this for one whole song, and he'll look at you with sincerity as the last beat plays out. He'll ask for your name, and not the name of your poison. And when you do take his hand, he'll hold it as if it was some fragile treasure. He'll take you by the waist and never skim on to your behind once the rhythm starts once more. He'll smile and kiss you on the cheek out of respect since he doesn't know you well yet.  He'd like to though. You will feel safe. You will feel enamored. You will feel your blood rush and yet that is not the most important thing. It will be him. The night will fade but you will always remember how he held your hand, and how he held your heart.

So for all you romantics out there, the club isn't so bad. It's not all for fun. This kind of thing happens. It does. It did. It is a story book moment.

On Song Speak

Sometimes there is no better way to describe how we are feeling than through song. I aptly call this moment #SongSpeak.  It is the phenomenon of posting lyrics as status updates on Facebook and Twitter, or that moment when you just need to break into a melody. 

Below is a Song Speak on how I think a relationship works out to be. Click the title to hear the songs. 

I see you and I'm so nervous that I want to pee in my pants:

• Superman - Joe Brooks

"So why do I disappear, 
When you come near,
It makes me feel so small.
Why do I blow my lines,
Most every time,
Like I've got no chance at all."

You are my love drug.  I'm addicted to you:

• Knock Knock - Lenka

"When life had locked me out
I turned to you
So open the door
'Cause you're all I need right now it's true
Nothin' works like you"

I'm adickted to you. Let's get it on NOW!:

• Dance Inside - The All American Rejects

"What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound
Say now you want to shake me too
Move down to me, slip into you"

You'll win the oscars for best drama.  Don't want to deal with you:

• Single Life - Cha Cha Malone feat. Jay Park

"I don’t need nobody to hold me down-ow-own
I ain’t one of those waiting for love to come around
‘Cause when it rains it pours, I’m out the door
I don’t need that, no
I love the single life, I love the single life"

Oh sh*t!!! I still love you (and I'm stalking your every move):

• I'll Never Go - David Archuleta

"I'll never go far away from you 
Even the sky will tell you 
That I need you so 
For this is all I know, I'll never go far away from you" 

On Bangkok

There are many memorable things about Bangkok. I enjoyed the gastronomic pleasures from Thip Samai’s Pad Thai (I had two plates mind you).  Heat was a small price to pay to witness the breathtaking Wat Pho temple. Lastly, this shopper’s haven is a treasure trove of unique fashion finds from local brands and designers. Like me, I’m pretty sure most tourists would have those aforementioned listed in their favorite Bangkok experiences. 

What makes me love Bangkok though permeates deeper into its culture and people. Apart from the food, the sites and the shopping, I have grown to love Jai Yen. Jai Yen is the disposition of having a “cool heart”.  It is the nature of being non-confrontational, patient and harmonious. 

This coolness is the secret to the warmth that Thailand and the Thai people showcase to the world. With each sawadee and kobkhunmaak lies an extension of gratefulness for the other’s presence. The calm smile amidst disagreements is an acknowledgement of mutual respect. The concern over other’s well-being provides a sense of belongingness. The best part is Jai Yen does not discriminate. It stems from how the Thai people treat their fellow Thai. Visiting Bangkok allows one to be included in this wonderful sense of community. One cannot but feel absorbed in the pull of Jai Yen, and it is because of this that foreigners discover the soul of Thailand.

Kobkhunkaa Bangkok for the lessons learned. You have taught me well.

On Forty Winks

I’ll sleep the pain

Of you away

Bury the sorrow

In my fluffy feathered pillows

Cope with the coldness

Of solitary nights

By scrunching up

Under my woolly blanket

As I wake

I’ll wipe my eyes dry

Of the tears cried

In my dreams

And bathe in the warmth

Of the sun’s rays

Trying to forget

Your embrace

When the moon bids again

I’ll sleep the pain

Of you once more

And in the morn know

That the sun

Will still shine on me

Though you are distant

With your arms around someone else

On Weddings

I cannot help but feel awe on the effort that goes into weddings. Months of planning boils down to one special moment, which has to be impeccable.

I always wish that the bride and groom would enjoy this day and that everything turns out according to plan - no slipping on the isle, no vow forgotten, and none of the million other things that could go wrong happens. But a dozen other couples would also tell you that looking back, there will always be some flaw on the wedding day, something they wish they could have changed or adjusted. After all, it doesn’t hurt to want perfection.

At this point, I cannot help but think about how weddings mirror the marriage long after the final champagne toast of the night. No matter the preparation, there will always be unforeseen mishaps along the way. In the end, all one can hope for is that in spite of this, the same fervor spent in creating a wedding will be continued in the couple’s challenge of creating a happy married life. 

A few years down the road, everyone will forget about the details of that night. What one hopes to remember is the happiness celebrated on that occasion. One looks back on weddings not to recall the stunning gown or the lavish reception. One reminisces to relive the joy of that new beginning and to celebrate that union each day. It is this joy that makes every wedding day perfect despite the possible little imperfections faced.

On Screwing Up

Once in a while we lose our way. It's that crazy one hundred eighty degree turn from fine to failure. We don't know how we got there, or maybe sometimes we do. Somewhere along the road we took a wrong turn. We spiral out of control. There's only free fall from that point. Crash.

In picking up those broken pieces of whom we are, we form ourselves anew - still the same yet rediscovered. We become aged and imperfect, like an antique, made all the more priceless. 

In losing ourselves, we find ourselves once more.

On Patience

A monk is still with legs folded neatly together. His face is not smiling yet it emanates content. Eyes are closed in an eternal state of zen. His calmness makes time halt and flow together as one. Worries fade away. Peace.

If patience was a tangible object in the world, this monk would be the incarnation. He lives the joy and the serenity of the wait.

Life has lectured me to portray this monk. Life also has taught me that it is hard to be one. Despite of my buzz cut hairstyle aptly placing me in character, I probably will never be able to paint this picture of patience. A quick temper and immediacy are my reigning attributes. I do not know the meaning of zen when asked to wait. I do not want to be kept waiting.

For me, patience is an on-going battle. The actor in play is not a monk but a warrior. It is a constant struggle of holding it out, of not being tired, of keeping spirits alive. I realize that this is okay. Patience need not always be easy. In a war, the most important thing is to believe that victory can be attained. In the midst of battle-scars and uncertainty, it is resiliency that claims the prize. In this regard, patience is not just characterized by the ease of the wait. It is more than being at peace in the process. It is also the desire and the belief that the best is yet to come.

Some of us are monks, the epitome of patience, capable of trusting in the wait and what is to be. But for those who are not, as long as we believe that there is far more in store than that of today, I believe we too will be okay.  Our patience lies in this unwavering hope. It is this hope that brings about our patience.

On Rain

Rain

The icy drops trickle on my bare arms

Yet I do not flinch, not an instance alarmed

Standing, drenched, I do not move

I embrace the rain

Quizzical stares dart at this man

Who in God’s grief, his moves are none

There upon the granite his feet lay

Kissing the tears of heaven’s dismay

Of gusting winds, he fears no cold

A million storms have passed untold

Of thunderbolts, he dares not sigh

For roaring truths have hushed the lies

As raindrops trace my solemn eyes

Heaven’s woe mixes with mortal pain

And as this liquid unites skin and sky

I have embraced the rain

On Cooking

When I was seven, the highlight of my Sundays was dinner with my parents at my favorite restaurant The Italian Village. While kids my age were chomping away hamburgers at McDonald’s, I on the other hand, indulged on a gourmet chicken cream fettuccine. I fondly look back at this memory with the banter of my parents in my head and the delectable taste of garlic cream sauce on my tongue. 

These childhood Sundays easily directed me into choosing pasta carbonara as my first dish to master in the kitchen. It took a number of tries before I came up with a dish that satisfied me. Today, I can proudly say that I can whip up a batch that is restaurant worthy.

Cooking does not always come naturally though to everyone. More often that not, it is more convenient to temper our cravings for our favorite food by dining outside. The perception of cooking being a chore is so commonplace. This is why should you decide to take up the daunting task of cooking, it is paramount that you choose a dish you personally love. Pick something so gastronomically pleasing that you could not imagine life without having to devour it. Moreover, choose a dish that relives a memory not only on your taste buds but also in your mind. Often, this act of enjoying our favorite food is not merely solitary but also a communal act when we share the meal with other people. Cooking then becomes so much more than the arduous task of just chopping, stirring, baking, frying or steaming. It becomes a renewal of past experiences, in which, you allow for future experiences to be savored when you cook for yourself and for your loved ones. Like any other endeavor, finding meaning and joy in the effort makes the time in the kitchen well worth it.

The Italian Village has long been closed. Today, my Sundays are spent enjoying home-cooked carbonara with my mom at our dinner table. Every Sunday, I still am seven years old.

On Wearing a Condom

Ask him to wear a condom. 

Even if he has the most perfect physique, do not falter. When it comes to STDs his rock hard abs won't guard you from harm, a rubber will. 

Do not heed the merman's song of "You are Special" hence I will put my bare meat inside of you.  If you are special, he would care enough to keep you safe, that, or you would be wearing a diamond ring on your finger. 

In anticipation of that random fall-in-to-you-blindly-my-heart-is-racing-I-want-you-so-badly moment, be prepared! Captain America never went to war without his shield. Likewise, no one goes to a bed without a condom! Your man can do all the shooting he wants. You can let the condom take all the damage. 

A condom is your friend, not your foe. Sacrifice a little "oh-OH-yeah-more" for a zen state after the deed.  Should he feel that latex as thin as .019mm can make a difference to his orgasm, remember that this .019mm is the Berlin Wall between his sperm and your egg.

A condom may not be The Savior but it is one of the saviors of the human race. The Church may brand it as the devil's invention, but the Church cannot multiply five loaves and two fishes to thousands that can feed every unprepared family.

Ask him to wear a condom. Demand him to wear a condom. Do it for yourself.

P.S. I support the Reproductive Health Bill of the Philippines

On Stars

Stars

Stars

Up in the midnight sky

Twinkling

Ever so bright

Stars

Here in my life

Twinkling

Making everything all right

Just look up and look around

Know that there is a star to be found

On Writing

To place our thoughts down in print is either one of the most mundane of acts or that of which is most carefully thought of. Sometimes the stream of consciousness flows out like a dam churning out love letters, diaries or blogs. Other times a blank piece of canvas holds us captive for hours, leaving us tired and weary for an essay, a novel, a poem or a speech. We write because we want to be heard – if not by the world then even just by ourselves. It is a mirror to our thoughts, a concrete manifestation of our ideas that stare back at us in our desired recipe of ABC’s.  Writing is breathing the world inside us to the world outside of us. It is our own secret made known with each word penned.

Not all secrets we tell will change the world.  The courageous ones desire this and make it their vocation. It is not an easy task, nor does it guarantee monetary dividends. To them though, this hope of being a catalyst is enough to live by.  Rowling’s Harry Potter has made her millions. Understood, as a profession, she must have had wished for Harry to at least apparate food on the table. As a vocation, she wanted Harry to wizard the world of the meaning of love, goodness and friendship. She has.

Others do not have such a clear vision in their mind. Some change the world accidentally with their words.  Maybe your diary sitting idly on the desk will – just as a girl named Anne Frank did.  Some never dream to have an impact but more often that not, they do, be it big or small.  The soul of writing lies in the beauty of our existence. As long as we are alive, we have something to write about. Just as we can change the world with how we live, so can writing change the world when we let our words live in it.

Write. Write the silliest things. Write and do not fear grammar, style and structure. Write about the moon, or the cheese that resembles it. Write of your conquests and your mishaps. Write for yourself and you may find that you too can be resonating what others feel.  Write because you are alive. Write because it is to let ourselves breathe and take flight